Saturday, 15 September 2012

The Suicide

So strong the feelings are
Can see the flashes of dreams
My life like a movie before my eyes
Everybody, comes and apologize and goodbye
I forgive everyone with a faint smile as I pick,
The beautifully carved steel
Into a thin razor sharp plate of wonder
I stare at the steel ends
As it reflects the beam of light
Struck like a sword on my eyes
I look up to the four corners all seeing eyed god
That spits only the truth
As I blaze at it,
And I could see was the rage from you
My reasons to end up are naïve
And you don’t bother to stop it
I look back at the blade
Stares it as if it was my close friend
I kissed it passionately
Whispered to it, be soft!
And then I took it to my freshly sprinting vein
And run the razor through it
Deep it goes, ripping the bond
And making it pour
The fresh blood of glory
I smelled the fresh cut
The beautiful smell of the steel through my skin with fresh blood
I look at the bath
As the beautiful color of peace turns
Stark red with rage and hatred
Smiling, as I feel my energy shrinking
I raised my hands again
And smelled the cut
The sweet smell of rage of agony
I fall into the hands of death
Still poring profusely
Until I see
The flashes and the faces I loved
Fades to black
And the music of life fades out
Everything turns like dust like ash in the time
Colorful faded blackish and then time out!
I succeed in my suicide!

Thy Love!

Pampered myself with the love you show

Caressed by your heart that you gave

Love keep us united and make me bend low

Where you being my king, so strong and brave

I let myself fall into thy grip

Cupid descended and made me fall in love

With sweet lashes and whip

From the wave of your heart beat, took me to the heaven above!

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

What Did I Just See?

Pampering, My lovely golden hair
Unaware of the devilish creature behind
Staring at my beauty and my skin so fair
I turn so as to see a figure that turned me spellbind

Look to the mirror again startled
Wondering what the heck did I just see
Fell deep in thoughts being marveled
Is this true, Then why me?

Couldn't believe my eyes
The figure so very rotten
Smell so devilish just like skunk and mice
The fragrance of fresh blood got its eyes brighten

Devilish figure body as black as coal
Geeky whisper like soft breeze smell of garbage
Scurry off sucking in my soul
Penetrate in to my blood deep damage

Leaves it sprinting fresh blood
And sucks up every single drop
As its here, eternal ocean of blood
It makes me weak and make me stop

Stares at it again, Wondering weak
Scared I am and wondering what did I just see?
Is this thing real or is it just a freak
My friends acting freak or the real devil set free

Confused I am to my every limit and scared
But could not lie to my own eye
Trust what I saw that set me snared
Whispering that I deserved to die

Softly yet a merciless grip
Hold me strong and squeeze me tight
Until It let my whole blood to drip
Silent gaze and fades out with all my might
By a confused mind thinking, What the hell did I just see?


I can almost taste
the blood from your veins
That pours from your heart
So true and so delicious
You made me stay all alone
Where you should have known
Am best in my kind
To keep the blood lust fresh
Am laying here on the ground
Blood stained and broken
Oh Dear, the smell of your blood
Keeps me wanting more
And the fragrance of it
Run wild through my body
Pumping each second,
A new level to my sweet silent revenge
You should have known
That am all alone
When you left me desperate and alone
The blood dripping anxiously
To know about the heart you hold
Sincere it is to its own heart
Not like the one who beholds
Fake trust's and promises
Instincts were true, to which I ignored
Kept hidden under deep slumber and snores
I am once again left broken inside
Blood stained stark crimson red
Waiting to be torn again
For the silent revenge awaits in my heart
Late, I may be though
But blood waits and helped me so
Freshly cut wounds, that are not mend to be healed
Left unnoticed for silent revenge
Wont rest until I could
What my blood and heart asks and desires for
You left my heart burst open
Exploding hatred from the very heart of love
Phasing and mending new steps of bloody red
To fulfill my revenge unaffected in someplace of my heart
Sprinting new levels for my pain
Blood poured out wakes me up from my slumber
Pushing me to the tide
To flow with the tide to reach my success
Where lies my prosperity

Twisted & Tangled!

Twisted &Tangled
I lay in this web
I know my skill
But am stuck confused!

No Air!

Trembling with fear
Wanna make out the truth
Tangled up and tongue-tied
Gasping like a fish on land

Breathing no air!

Staring at the dew drops fresh
Quench my thirst to love you real
My knees are so weak and,
am falling down to your feet
Gasping for something
Like am ,

breathing no air!

Your love sparkles bright
Like a diamond in the sun
Melting out and flowing free
Making its way for me to see
It reaches out to my heart and,
Am breaking free,
But still am yearning for something

breathing no air!

Guide me love to a safest place
Cupid descended, now gotta pave my way
Love these angel with all my heart
Now I can stand straight and I’ll say
Your love made me crazy, now am free
Still Missing for something and you made me feel
That am, 

breathing no air!


Not always you get the feeling to live
Every time you may not feel happy
But there happens to be lots of situation to weep
Well I got mine!
Life was at its ease as I remember
In a split second it changed, I wont say
Gradually it took time as my path went wrong
My life said to be happy, remains like a memory
Now all I got to say is the story of melancholy
I have tripped and fell down in to the dooms pot
where agony rage and hatred only remains
Black magic is a game to play with others life, They believe
Got their hook and now am hanging
Life is unpredictable to travel as we wish
Never predict so as what comes next, Its with nobody's will
I am not able to laugh out loud cus of the pain i bear
Poetry still helps me as my friend, and still I cant open my heart to it
When my heart sinks to sorrow, I sit down and weep, Silently
The sadness I bear is so much for me, Where I find my time to explode
Never happened love failure as my heart didn’t have time for that
The sad story I bear is so dark and mysterious, That am scared
Will I be laughed and kicked out? I don’t know!
I always wondered what others heart desires for as I can’t explain mine
I find myself timid and spineless but I got my reasons to be!
I want to explain my situation but find tongue-tied by the dark that hold me
Am so scared at the outer world where I find myself invisible
My life, my possession, how bad it may be,
Still I have to breath until god takes out my capacity to breath
And make me lay like a ashen corpse, Lifeless as ma now!

The Women in Black

I always see this figure
Not very clear
Just floats through the air
But I don’t get scared
Cant make out its features
To describe how she looked
Cus all that I see is a,
Women in black.
Her deep dark eyes,
stares down into mine
A whisper I hear
Wanting to say something
I try to make out what she says
But all I hear is a blur
should I feel angry or sorry for her?
I am confused!
Is it just my feelings
Or is she real?
I cant make sure of anything
As I got this crazy feeling
Or have I gone mad
Am I imagining things
I wonder, am I the only one who is seeing her?
One thing is crystal clear
About what do I always see
Is women in black
Like a clock all around
Dragging it everywhere she goes
Sweeping the place as she walks
I can hear chains too
Fumes like burning fire
Appears within her
A stinky graveyard smell of rotten meat
Raise once in a while
It happens that I always see
And am going crazy
I don’t know if spirits exist
But one thing that surely do haunts me
Is the women in black!

Turned as a robot

Sunrises! No sign of you
The night before I lay fallen
Into the hands of the dark
Wondering will I ever get back up
Waiting for you, To hold me tight
And raise me up from the dark
I sat frozen upon the window sill
Staring blindly to the hurdles
You made me carry with
Now you left me in the middle of nowhere
Sun beam hits upon me and it hurts badly
For not having you!
Staring deep within
that have no limits to explain
on the hardship I face
now I sit frozen like a robot
hard to know whether am me!
Butterfly flutter its wings and fly to me
As it fly showers the diamond dust
Soon turns to be dark wind
Hits me like a violent storm
I lay fallen into the hands of the dark
Wondering will you ever show up
Or should I phase back up as the robot I become!


Out in the dense forest
Laying in the beam of the sun
Hurt inside, deep cut
Pouring blood let out my pain
As the Tyndall effect falls all over me
Visible streaks of stark red lines
Of the wound that appears to be
From parting you
In the crimson red gown that you love
Lay broken deep inside
Wonder if I could get over?
The stones of joy
Turns dark with melancholy
Fresh grown grass and the rose
Turns dead with the sorrow hard to bear!
They knew me so well
And now I lay broken and dead
Turns then weak and pale inside and out
Ho! Hail Holy light
Put your light through me
And wake me up from the deep slumber am in
I need to grow up to a new life
Red roses stick with me
The one you gave
Lay besides me torn and blood stained
I see a distant image
Like a mirage glistening in the sun beam
Seems to be like you
But appears to be a deer
Stand straight bold and strong
How I wish you could be strong like that
Stays deep but as a wish!
As night fall I imagine you could come rescue me
From where I lay broken inside
As night fall I believe that my pain will fly
And you take the honors
As night fall, I wish!

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Dreaming you

Diamond dust sparkling on
dreaming your soft lips
missing you and your kiss
dreaming you, keeps me happy
missing you so badly
for your kiss
and for you my love!

Love From a Butterfly

 In my garden
Resting lazily in the sun
Fragrance of flowers wild in the air
Melting me away to a silent slumber
As daffodils dance
And the orchids sing
A soft melody to my tender ears
The nature calls lulls me to sleep
Where I fall in to hands of the god’s creation
Naked absorbing the beauty of nature
Trying to melt in to it…..
There I could sense the gentle touch
Like a soft angel
The touch of my butterfly
A beautiful creature with a touch of spring
Rainbow colored purity
A sense of serenity
As it flutters it tender wings
Waves of colors and patterns scatter in to the thin air
Like gold dust from the fairy’s wand
Like a magic I appears to shower love
Spread kisses as it goes
Lucky if it hits you
Eternal glory is all you get
As it spreads its wings of love
Takes you to a land unknown
Asks you to follow its lead
That will take you to an immense pleasure
Butterfly trails with kisses
Leads you to an eternal love
With the wings of your butterfly
That showers the love dust to an immense joy
That cannot be described
Close your eyes
Watch your butterfly
Then waves of diamond dust
Shall sparkle on its way
Ha! What a beautiful sight


SiEyes emits fumes as she stares
Cherry lips with the cunning smile
Melts you away to her own way
waiting anxiously for a drop of blood
Sucks up life from the man, who loves
The cunning devil, your worst nightmare!
She watches over the world
In an utter  silent gaze
Burns fire like that of hell in her eyes
Anger that is stark red
Eternal rage fumes in her
Shrieks and howls that she loves
Know to cope with the hate
Slowly very slowly
With that cunning looks
Attract the men on to her
With silent kiss yet so passionate
Moves her way to that sprinting veins
Fresh blood is she desires
The cunning women with her melodious voice
And her beauty that no one can deny
Eternal beauty with the eternal rage
Can shred her enemy into pieces'
Scrape the flesh from the bones
Sprinting blood drinks em all
Lovely blaze that of  the flickering fire
Attract men on her desire
Promises that she keeps
The cunning devil, with the promises that she keeps
On waiting for the kill and sucking up the blood


With words of joy that pops up
Free or if busy I sit down to write
The lines just comes as like an obsession
Once it come, its hard to let go
Lines of pride and joy pops open
Fingers tremble to take a pen and write
Anywhere I  may be, I just don't care
I write as my hearts wishes for
My eternal desire to flow my imagination
To let my dreams and hopes fly high
Determination leads me to success
And writing poems leads me to determination
I may not count the lines or the words
When all that matters are the meaning
I once did got up from my bed late a night
Took up a pen and scribbled something
Morning light appeared, what I saw startled me
A piece of writing, such a wonderful poetry
I fave  it upon my walls
Where all my writings are pinned so hard
Writing shows me where to stand
As it takes me to a far away land
with happiness and joy
Leaving behind the harsh reality one should face
As it describes me and my style
I dedicate myself to the poems I write
Where it reflect what I am And,
I write when I wanna write.


Devious creature all in white
Floats all over, what a wonderful sight
Hell hounds howl, beautiful melody
Whispers and shrieks, clear and ghostly
Sings and hums a song of melancholy
Pops anger so deathly
Cries out its pain of life
Never bother to cease its rife
None try to take a listen
To understand their tension
Flees of as they see
The ghostly figure of me
Yes! I want to show my existence to the people
Scares them to death and I giggle
I’ll do what I like Cus I am this way
Lead by the cruel on that day
Where they ripped me to pieces after a rape
Never knew I’ll come for my revenge, where they can’t escape
Ghost, ghost, ghost, stop calling me that
I had a wonderful life than that
I have summoned to the eternal end
Who ceases me to stop, now here I am been send
Wait, here I come

Beautiful Day Without You

My heart has sunken so deep
Without you again
It’s another beautiful day without you
My world seems to be down,
Shattered into tiny pieces
Just like my heart, without you
From the day you are gone
I felt lonely
And my heart seems to be empty
And it’s like another beautiful day without you
I can’t give up
And my mind can’t forget you
I was so into you, when you ran away
Sun is set so high
And a beautiful sunny day
With wild birds and flowers
Just like the way you love
But my heart feels heavy for you are not here to enjoy it
Just like everyday from then
It’s a beautiful day without you
I walk through the meadows
Honey comb brushing me fondly
Feeling sorry for not seeing you with me
Wild lily in the air
And bees buzzing all around
Flowers dancing in the rhythm of the wind
The brook gleaming like a diamond in the rough
I see your face deep within
Every nature signs just like a day you love
And a beautiful day without you
I feel so lonely
You come to me
Or ill come digging deep to you
You ran away like ash in the time
Being a memory leaving me behind
To live with your memories
Burning my heart
And with deep agony and fresh cut wound on my heart
That would not heal
And to face another new day
A beautiful day without you


I live within the world of dreams
With wonders and lots of screams
I run wild into the depths.
This leads me to more steps
Wild imaginations scares me
Cus it’s the ghosts that I always see
I cry for my mummy
But all I see is skeleton dummy
Ghostly figure wanders around
With deathly screams and sound
 Screeching windows squealing door
Cloudy ceiling dusty floor
Cobwebs decorations black and brown    
 A slumber queen in whitish gown
Freaky squeaky mousy smell
Rubbish digger florist Nell
How I hate to leave in this house
A ghostly nasty freaky house
Up above in the money hills
The house known to be the frills
Your worse nightmare filled hasty louse
The freakish devilish ghostly house


Hey, I heard that you are moving away
To a distant place with dismay
So I guess its 3 days from now
And I would have to appreciate you with a wow
Do you know why?
For the guts that’s you show
You must be thinking what I am saying here
Brother, listen to me very clear
Saying goodbye is a hardest part to do
But it’s not like forever you should go
With just a goodbye and a fake smile
Just remember it’s only for a while
The world is big and round
Just like your eyes as Bugsy bound
Sorry that’s my favorite teddy’s name
Dear, wave goodbye and set of your journey
Am sure it’s going to be a wonderful journey
With fresh and melodious memories
That makes you smile and weep at the same time
Remember all the while
With the most beautiful smile
Wherever you go, adventure waits for you
And for you some new friends awaits you
Learn to get along with it
And let go of the anger shit
You know something
That goodbye is a token of honor saying
We will meet again soon!


Don’t tell me about it now, cus I 
Don’t wanna know
No wonder why I feel irritated
Don’t sleep under this situation
Cus it has turned pretty wacky
And I am scared, oh!
Love can catch up so tight
And leave us behind on the edge
Clinging to the root
Of the glory, I may fall in to the deep
Hold me tight
I feel like falling
I don’t know why?
I am so twisted
I am so crazy
I may turn insane forever…..
I always wondered
Am I the only one twisting crazy?
Your love has always
Provided me a tender feeling of turning crazy
I don’t know why?
I am pretty serious about the relationship
I don’t want you to think that I am not a hit and run trail
Whatever you may feel from me
Is the truth
Everything is just a feeling of simplicity toward love
The silent gaze with you darken deep pale blue eyes
Emits hot steams of love towards me
You know very well to keep me crazy
I wanna tear up the boundaries that keep you away
I wanna run up to you
And quench my thirst for you
I wanna shower my love for you
Only if you stop making me crazy
Ha! The vast oceanic mind of mine
Like a drop to the drought
Ceasing my heart to stop and think
About the past moments I had with you
Where you turned me going crazy
Insanity with ingenuity
Crank up the pump beats of love
The lust emits high electricity
Whew I get attached to it and get frisky
Ha ha I turning up crazy
When you lift me up and kiss me on my lips
I ask for you in my deepest slumber
Asking to stop making me go wacky
With love!

Thursday, 16 August 2012

         I can still smell the long grass and the fresh meadows. Sitting by the fireplace staring deep into the fire when Em spoke “that was a long write, wasn’t it Kat?” yes I replied rather gloomily.

            Staring at the fireplace, I went back to our dear house in the village. It had been year for now we started living here in California. As I was staring into the fire for long, I crept back to our memory once again. The  strange smell of our house, the squeal-creak of each door, the beautiful windows giving the outer view, the smell of our rusty mantelpiece and the fire piece gone sooty, every nook and cranny is familiar with us, every corner and every smell, we are familiar with. As I came back to the reality, Em and I really wished if Lucy was here with us to narrate our past.

            Being 42 and crawling back to our memories when we were 20 is not easy they say. Colleagues from work, they came to knew that Em and I are writing our past. They do not know how much every detail is revolving around us; even now, we shall say every piece that happened between us. Every detail happens to be rich in us, that we only needed the right words to describe them.

            Our diminishing castle stands with pride, with lots of memories from us to our ancestors. We never went back to even see our parents to that place. They come to town for paying a visit and live with us for about 1 month or more. We do not have the heart to set foot into our house because as we get in, Lucy’s smile, laughter, smirking smile, giggling, sobbing, panicking hands, trembling, shouting, being shy, her blushing and simply everything fly back to us. Moreover, that breaks our heart.

(Read on to find our story and find out what happened to us and what happened with Lucy!)

         This happened long ago when I was 20. These incidents involve two of my friends and me. Through out high school and collage we where the center of attraction. Moreover, I had to lose one of my dear friends in a tragic accident. Which is gonna be explained in the coming way.

         My name is Katie, am 20 years now. I got a wonderful pair of emerald green eyes, which happens to be a miracle for me. One of my friends is Lucy. She was a very good friend, with a fabulous attitude towards life. She is quite shy and not so out spoken. She always keeps to herself where she opens up only for em and me. We had to lose her. Em is for Emily, she is the other friend I have. I love her name. She doesn’t like to be called as Emily. Therefore, everyone calls her Em. She is also 20. We used to call our self the shining triplets.

       We were special and were known as” Shimmering energetic triplets”. Actually, one of our mistresses named that. She was very friendly and loved us a lot. Her classes are so much informative that she often goes to other collages as guest lecture. We were simply everything like studious and stood first for everything. Athletes meet was in our hands and we were good singers! We simply rocked throughout high school and campus. Some really hated us and was jealous of us were majority loved us and were our friends! Nothing could really break our friendship. Mean girls tried their best but we got them freaked out. Lucy, em and I were the centre of attraction.

       All 3 of us hailed from San Antonio, Texas. We were close friends since birth and family friends, because our ancestors were famous traditional farmers. They were famous for the successful harvest every year and winning the traditional farmers award every year. That carried down to their heir and now has reached with our grandfathers.
         The place where we lived was in the countryside. It is not far from our farm place. a beautiful place with fresh green meadows’, wild fragrance flowers, tall ancestral trees and altogether a lovely calm place to live in.

          For the sake of our studies, we choose our path to higher studies because we don’t want to get stuck like our mothers like mere housewives, we want to experience life and go higher and so the 3 of us moved to the university in California. Therefore, we loved our life to the extremes. As the final exam for the 2nd semester was over, we got a month holiday. This was only once in awhile and so the 3 of us made our decision to spend the vacation with our family and so we made our way home. Moreover, the adventure started in this short vacation of 1 month.

          When our family knew that we were coming for 1 month, they were happy, very happy. Everyone was there at the railway station to greet us. It was a long ride back home. They took us to our beautiful mansion. We call it the “diminishing Castle” because occasionally we used to go to the beach to enjoy our maximum and to relax our self from the stress and tension of work. We all will swim to our heart content and then we all together shall built sand castle in the cold wet sand. When the tide comes high, the wave shall hit the castle, and the castle melts away, gradually I Em and Lucy named our castle the “diminishing castle”, it was just a silly name given to our mansion we loved the most.

        After a long ride we reached back home, and it felt so good to be back home. After taking a long, dip in the chilling pond in the backyard. We had a hearty meal for dinner. There was much wonderful stuff. Didn’t bother to check what was laid before us. We started to stuff it in. went straight to bed.  We were really tired and worn out. We slept peacefully unwary about the future, which was gonna be a tragic adventure.

        (Now I have become 42, I wanted to write down what really happened to my friends and me when we were 20 or so. All that happened to us is only because of our stupid curiosity and eager to know what we were not supposed to find out. Now Em and I really do wish that we did not do what we did then. It was only to lose our soul and heart Lucy. We 3 were very lively active and fresh and now, I hope that we didn’t have to be. Read on to find what my dear Lucy and we experienced. From what we understood, not all these things should be taking as granted like a joke and go deep fishing into them just because of our curiosity. Then that shall be the biggest mistake you shall do in our whole life.)